23 Pounds of Attitude

Michael is small for his age. The kid is a month away from his 2nd birthday and his 12 month size bathing suit still falls off of him. Heck, I have met 5 month olds that outweigh him. None of this would be particularly problematic if it wasn't for the fact that Michael's attitude is ginormous. Brian has been saying for months now that we need to get Michael in self-defense classes because he has no respect for how miniature he is and so his attitude is gonna get him a butt-whooping one of these days ;)

Some examples:

When in NY, we were at the Museum of Play and Michael was happily playing on the train table. When a whole group of camp kids descended on the table, my Dad warned Michael that now that there were so many more kids there that he would need to share the trains. Michael, without breaking stride, says: "I. Dont. Share."

Later that same day, Michael was playing with a bucket of balls. Another child, in a totally appropriate act, came over and also picked up a ball from the same bucket from which Michael was taking balls. Michael looks at him and says with all the sass and scorn that an almost 2 year old can muster, " Don't do dat, boy." Yikes!

The strangest thing about all of this is that as little as Michael is, his self-assurance and assertiveness seem to command some kind of respect (or is it fear?) from other little people. Just yesterday we were at a park in which there is a small tunnel that serves as the only way to access one side of the playground. Michael was laying down in the tunnel pretending to be asleep. I turned to play with David for a few minutes when I heard Michael say, "Go away kids." I then heard a kid complain to his mother, "I want to get over there, but that kid won't let me past." Obviously not seeing that the the Big Bully was in fact a runt-sized 23 month old, the mother said, "Just say excuse me. I'm sure he will let you pass." At this point, I turned around and was surprised to see that the kid who wanted to get past Michael was about 7 years old! What the heck, kid? You outweigh Michael by about 40 pounds!! Just walk around him, or past him, or ON him for cripes' sake! Only my Michael as a 1 year old can bully a 7 year old... Sigh. We are going to have our hands full with him.

He does have a certain charisma and sweetness that often offsets his attitude. Which is a good thing, to be sure. Example: We are in a locker room at a pool. I am working on getting David's shoes on and Michael is just hanging out when another little boy about David's age walks in and waits against the wall for his mother and brother. Michael starts saying, "Go away, kid." I take Michael and explain to him that that is not a polite thing to say to a new friend and that he will make this boy sad if he tells him to go away. I suggest instead that he say, "Hi, friend." The mean Michael of 30 seconds ago now walks right up to the boy and says, "Hi friend, Hi friend." Michael waves and smiles and says, "Hi friend, whatchu doin'?" in his sweetest (and very genuine, I might add) voice. At first the kid looks at me as if to ask, "What's with Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde here?" Eventually, the kid's initial suspicions/fears are melted right away and he smiles a big smile at Michael. And Michael smiles his cutey boy smile right back at him.

I truly can't wait to see how Michael's personality develops. He is a character, that much I know. A real "piece of work" as David would say ;)